I haven’t blogged lately because I’m trying to stick with a vow I made to only blog about things that have a point. I’m tired of babbling about my day. It’s boring, uninteresting, and redundant. Like that last sentence.
So my point in this particular blog is for all you gushy, mushy, and just a mess of lovey-dovey love-birds. What, in your book, is love? (And baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me, no more) What qualifies for you as love? And don’t tell me the whole, “There are many different kinds of love…” blah blah blah. I know. WE know. But, for a significant other, what’s love for you? Do you love that person for the good, and the bad? Do you accept their flaws as they are, or do you fight to change them and make them a “better person”? If you are the “flawed” person, do you change for love? Do you change who you are for your significant other? Let’s assume these changes could be for “the positive” you become more outgoing, more comfortable with who you are, you’re less of a bitch, etc. Do you change for that person? They don’t like your sarcasm, so do you stop being constantly sarcastic? I’m guilty of doing this just for my friends! The sarcasm one being an exact example, my friend was annoyed at my constant sarcasm, so I stopped around him. However I’ve found it kind of defines me. But do I want it to define me? Or do I want to change that definition I view of myself? That seems to be our constant struggle in adolescence. We’re constantly changing our image and what defines us. Why? Because we don’t like how we look/act/are, etc? Why don’t we like it? Because no one else is like that? Because everyone else is doing something different? What causes us to think we are unworthy, or less-worthy of someone’s attention or love? My mother is constantly hounding me about how I need to change how I act to “catch a decent fellow’s eye”. Why? Can’t there be some guy out there who likes my reproachable attitude, and occasional negative outlook on things, my constant need to vent, and how I pretty much speak what I feel? And here’s another question (of the many I’ve already written): Why do I need to catch a “decent fellow’s eye”? Especially now in life? Shouldn’t I be focusing on creating a name and a career for myself? Doesn’t love and the dating scene and all that jazz come later in life? I don’t know. Maybe I’m just bitter that I’m not the kind of girl guys go running after. And that’s extraordinarily shallow of me. I should change that. BUT, should I change because I don’t like it? Okay yes. But do I not like it because it’s looked down upon in society? Again, yes. Why should I care what society thinks? Because society says so. This is a slippery slope to go down. Okay new philosophy: You change who you are, because youfeel the need to. You want to actually like yourself. Good. I like that idea. But I like myself, and yet I still can’t find anyone that likes me too. How is it that I can like me for me, and no one else can? I can’t figure it out. But this isn’t a pity party. That’s shallow as well. And I want to change that. I am a strong, independent woman, and I don’t need a man to make me laugh, or comfort me when I’m upset, or tell me I’m beautiful because he really thinks that. But I want that. I don’t need it, and yet I yearn for it. Stupid St. Valentine’s Day, I was doing so well with eating chocolate in utter ignorance of myself too…
Don’t get me wrong; I’m not the random, self-wallowing types on St. Valentine’s Day, I love the holiday. It’s an excuse to eat chocolate up the wazoo regardless if you’re single, married, divorced, or a five year-old chimpanzee. “It’s okay Bobo, eat as much chocolate as you want, it is St. Valentine’s Day after all…” But today has just really made me reevaluate myself. Granted it took tons of other people’s flowers, chocolates (although I had a fair amount myself today), teddy bears, balloons, and happiness in general being shoved in my face and all around me for me to stop and think about this…
So, what’s your opinion?
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