You're just too good to be true...

Michael and I have the bizarrest friendship on the face of this earth. We challenge, fight with, scream at, and understand each other without a word. Last night was the biggest fight we’ve had since sophomore year… maybe less. I can’t recall. There were tears, frustration, curse words, and epic amounts of sorrow. But that boy teaches me more every single day without evening knowing it or meaning to. He pushes me to be a better person no matter how much I fight him tooth and nail the entire way. Last night I was shattered by the thought that he’d finally given up. In all reality he was giving me tough love and pushing me to think before I speak. Of Course I saw nothing wrong with the situation and immediately turned to defense mode, I was angry, sad, pretty much an emotional wreck. He has been my best friend for five years, and I’m terrified of someone I love finally seeing the true me and walking out on my life because I disgust them. Take those two facts and add in last night’s train wreck to the mix, and you get one completely broken, depressed, emotionally sick to the point of being physicallysick Megan. Not my happiest moment to say the least. We used to fight like cats and dogs on a weekly basis, and then we realized we know each other all too well to judge one another. The fact that he said he was saddened and hurt by my actions, that didn’t even involve him, shattered me. I’m insane and am constantly searching for people’s approval, and lately I’ve been trying to be more happy and accepting with myself, so I try not to care too much about what other people think of me. But he’s my oldest friend, I would trust his word with my life if it came down to it. So I care more deeply about his opinion above almost all others. And I trust him enough to have complete faith in what he says. I forget what a good guy he is to me every now and then. And I think last night revealed that. He looks out for me even when I don’t look out for myself. And that’s such a wonderful blessing in my life that I don’t acknowledge enough. :)