Releasing all of my bottled up emotions... In one day.

I cried for a whole day. I haven’t cried that much in… Well I don’t think I’ve ever cried that much. But I feel like I not only physically released the pain I felt about the current situation, but also all the pent up pain I’ve been locking up for….. almost six months now. So that was scarier than anything I ever experienced, because I just couldn’t stop. I thought I was never going to be happy again. It’s like when you have the stomach flu and wonder if the excessive vomit will ever stop erupting from your esophagus. I wondered if I would never be able to stop crying. But I eventually lapsed into a kind of coma by “watching” television for the entire day. I also distracted myself by forcing myself to work on my dance. And then this hour long scalding hot, melt my skin off with just the steam shower felt incredible, and I feel better. Not normal, but better. Like I can fake my way through the day pretending to be okay and happy tomorrow. And that’s all I ask for.