A Private Challenge:

Today I was confronted with a very uncomfortable task: get in touch with myself through dance… in front of the whole class. Granted, everyone else was doing the same thing at the same time, but I just, I don’t do that. Not in front of people at least. I do that in my room, alone, with the door closed, where no one can see me. There I experiment with dance and see what works and what doesn’t. Then, when I pretty much perfect it, I’ll show people. But not before. I understand the purpose of letting go and just being you, but I don’t do that. I CAN’T do that. Everything I say and do is practiced, refined, rehearsed. I rarely say everything that I want to say. I practice what I want to share with the world before I share it. That doesn’t make it less true or honest, it just means that I am showing what I want the world to see, and keeping what is strictly private, private. So I’m not about to dance my soul away for the whole class to see. I don’t want them seeing everything that is me, they won’t like it. Hell, I don’t like it. For reasons that are private. And I’m not about to share them here.